You are trapped

She is settled under her crown like a siren, ready to lure the next victim. 
Empty melody is played in the air... it is so dark in here.

While you gasp for air..
She is relaxed... Got nothing to worry about. Like she knows, there is no tomorrow.

She could be a child, very possessive of all that she owns, "That's mine", she says and no one can do anything about it. No one can protest... No one is able to convince her otherwise. "I always get what I want."
They say she uses telekinesis..  make you obey without saying a word.
She makes you think you are doing all that you are doing by your own will.. When you are just another one of her puppets.

In her presence, you feel the cold wind knocking on your bones, yet you feel her warmth. 
What are you supposed to really feel? There is nothing but confusion that 
surrounds you... You insist to stay.

"Come into my world..." She whispers.

Something feels so wrong, but feels so right too.. You can not decide...

One step forward, and two steps back...

This is your chance to run.. But curiosity is eating you all up inside.. 

"What is it about her, that leaves them distort?", you think to yourself. Now you are thinking that you could solve this puzzle, because you think you are different.

"There is nothing to win here, only everything to lose" she warns, "A permanent scar however, is guaranteed. You won't find anything else".
You are aching for that scar, suddenly. 
"I can prove otherwise." you tell yourself.

Gaze into her eyes, see nothing but pure darkness. She is calm.
How can she be so calm, when there is a clear disturbance in the atmosphere, a silence that speaks a million unheard words..

She smiles with confidence.
"I have warned you", she says deliberately. 
They warned you too.

"Are you joining?", she says with an intimidating smile. "We'll have so much fun."

There is something about her that you can not figure out. Something is pulling you in, a heavy force that you can no longer fight.. You stop resisting.. You do give in.

She pushes you away now. She is cruel. She needs no one, she just likes to play.

But what are you supposed to do? You are now trapped in her playroom. You can not leave, there is nowhere for you now to go.
Forget all that you once knew, there is no escape. There is no other realm now. This is all that you come to know.

You are trapped.

You gaze into her eyes again, searching for a glimpse of hope.. 
You've been sleepless for a while.. Trying to explore that wicked mind of hers, how does it function..

You finally figure it all out.
The joy you feel. 
A sign of triumph after what has felt like forever.

Just to figure out she has changed her game again, you are back to square one.

"But how can it be? It's been a while now.. I got you all figured out. I know your ways, and i know your game..", you object.
She smirks and says "I told you we will have so much fun!".

What type of fun is this?
What is she thinking?
Am I ever leaving this maze?

"No, you are trapped." you hear a voice. "Just like them.."
You are one of her possessions now..
You are not leaving, ever.

She says "I always get what I want.." 
There is that wicked grin again..
You can not hate her, even after all that she's done.
There is something about her..
You can not figure out..
You're a prisoner.. A happy prisoner..
Now you are having fun too.. Nothing makes sense.. But you're happy.
You do not want to leave this maze..
You are forever trapped..

WE'RE NOT ALL THAT

Funny enough that I felt like I MUST write about this phenomenon.

We have come to an era, where everything is available and within few clicks away from your reach. Literally!
With all the  controversial topics that we are "giving & receiving" from Social Media, people lost their ways, they got stripped off their roots.

Adding to that, remember the time where you could sit with your family and watch a movie, only to feel awkward when there is a kissing scene. 
Could you watch any movie now, before reading the whole description and make sure there are no naked scenes in it, so you could peacefully watch with your family? Now, this point specifically was off-topic, yet I thought I have to mention it, because it is annoying me.

My problem is not with the social media, TV-shows or the books that are available out there. I mean, go ahead watch what you like, read what you like, share and talk about anything you want but please, do not forget how in real world it works differently.
Some might think that I'm being negative here, but not really. The post might be long but you're here to read it until the end, right?

It saddens me, when I see people I know, or hear about incidents where people fought, killed, argued or divorced because a tiny misunderstanding regarding a TV-show.

We all binge-watch TV-shows, and sometimes get hooked to the TV-show a little too much. I'm not against that either, I myself am a hardcore Game Of Thrones fan and I LOVE the show A LOT. However, I do not let them effect my daily life routine, know what I mean? 
I know some people who after watching a show, or an episode, start applying all the incidents to their real life.

Why on earth would you do that? Do you have no idea how these are all fictional written stories? Okay, some incidents might be taken from daily life, or could be applied but not the whole thing. Know what I mean?
Even if the characteristics of you favourite character are similar to yours, it does not imply the fact that you MUST act the same way further, in the upcoming events of your life. Those are written scripts, what you will do or have to do is up to you and your own actions, and the surrounding will not react the same way they reaction was done in the show.

It is the same with reading books. Some solutions could be found in those self-help books, or any other type of book, but the circumstances differ from a situation to another.

Moving on to the next point, those who strongly believe in horoscopes. Now, I know and you should too; that it is a type of science. It is true, and I'm not denying that there are some things that are 100% accurate, but not all of them, right? I mean, your sign could be 'X' and it says that the characteristics of this person are 'clumsy, hot tempered, smart, strong, unemotional', and you might know a person who falls under the sign 'X' but is not clumsy, or hot tempered, s\he could be strong and smart though. You do not have to change yourself to match what is written, that is the point I'm trying to make.

Do not base your life events on things that were written by other human beings. You make your own events by choosing your actions, do not let anyone control the way you think, or the way you behave.
It does not mean that you are a weird person if your sign says something while you are something else, I mean there are billion other people who fall under the same sun sign and I bet they are not all the same.

What I was told, and well I tell others too, if you think it is a good thing take it, if you think this is not you then to hell with it. You define yourself, and not what someone wrote or told you. You dig?


Here, another thing I've let go of my chest, and for you to know what I think regarding this matter.
If we all behave the same way based on what we see or read, it will all become boring and we will all be the same, where is the creativity in that??

Also, why social media plays the biggest part in delivering such messages to us is because now even if you're in a country you still get reviews and thoughts from across the globe, and it has a huge influence on shaping the way you think. Social media can make a right wrong and wrong right just easily, and you would not feel it hitting, you'll just say 'oh yeah if it is this way then it is correct' you know, brain playing games on you telling you it is right just because everyone else is doing it.

I know I have this way of talking about so many things under one topic, but hey, creativity right!

one last thing: when I was writing i thought man this post will be long, but see, I gave you the shortcut version. I hope my message is clear. Sometimes in my head it is clear but then i remember ya'll can't really read what is in my mind.



x

The new me

They say, everything you do is an experience.
They also say, every experience is a lesson...

I've heard that people do not really change.. circumstances do.. but is it true?

He told me, if someone tells you 'I'm changed, and it is all because\for you' show them the door, and say 'goodbye, with your bullshit'

So.. Where does that leave anyone? 

I could definitely say that I'm not the same person I was last year.

There is just so much in my mind, that I would like to share with the rest of the world, like anyone else... Yet I choose to be that mysterious person whom you think you figured out, but by the time you think you did, I've changed my thoughts, feelings and mind already so you have to start all over again.

For sometime now, I have been what you call 'feelingless', and I was actually happy about it. However, a friend told me that I'm in denial. I thought about it.. Maybe I'm in denial but maybe I liked whatever I felt -or didn't feel- and I just wanted to continue that way.

For too long now, I've been concerned about:
- What people think about me.
- Everyone's expectations of me.
- Future
& 
- More Future

I stopped living the moment, always just wishing for a better tomorrow that I forgot to enjoy the now. It's like, I finally opened my eyes, and realized I have to start living the now and forget about the future. What is meant to happen, will eventually happen, right?

I also realized that I might have been a little too generous towards others, and been giving more than receiving. Maybe this is the time to be selfish and think about myself only. I deserve some selfish time.

 The thing about me is, I never truly reveal my full feelings and thoughts to one person specifically, I just share some facts with those who are close to me. Then I tell them half the story, whatever it is, tell the other half to someone else. They can not take the pieces and complete the puzzle, they think I'm confusing, and it is complicated while I like it.. I actually enjoy it very much.

I'm an introvert, this is the whole truth, yet people love to believe otherwise. True, I'm easy to talk to, and once you talk to me I'm all warm and make you feel special, but it does not mean you make me feel special too, you know? It is difficult to satisfy me and I'm aware of that, but why should I change that? I'm happy with all that I am, and all that I've done so far and satisfied overall. So I do not see any problem in that.

There is one more fact about me that I think everyone should feel aware of; I'm narcissistic.
A friend said this word to me a few days ago and I was clueless about what it meant, I was too shy to ask as well, but then I searched it and I was like 'WOW, there is a word for self obsession'.
I'm proud to be one actually, this feeling I can not describe. I'm just so awesome that I might belong in a museum [yes, a LoL reference. Ez.].
I'm so much in love with myself.
Here is the thing, I know my flaws right, because no one is perfect. However, I love them... I think they're quite cool characteristics. I do not want to change them either! 

Here, I thought I'll just scribble the few thoughts that are wandering in my big brain which is full of so many words. I did not pick them carefully therefore I will not read this draft twice, I'll post it the way it is.

The very last thing I would like you all to read -if you're still reading, which I'm sure you are!- I'm loyal to those I love and truly care about. Whereas others think I'm harsh, cold or rude, I would not change that thought of yours, I mean if you have made up your mind then so be it, maybe you deserve whatever gave you this feeling. The more people assume the worse about me, the happier it makes me. Somehow being called evil is fun for me. I mean, look at Loki, and Joker... Aren't they just so cool?
Anyhoo.. If you also want to see who I was a while back visit my old BLOG

ps. I'm still cute and stuff. I love laughing so much I kid you not. Most of time I'm sarcastic and almost never serious, just so you know.

one more PS: I could not think of a better title. Wanted some dramatic effect. ok bye.


Enjoy, and I'll be back to some more posts later on!


x

Be my guest tour

It's an event that my university (Saxion University of applied sciences - Deventer) had started last year (I was chosen to do the promotion since I'm an international student) and guess who's planning and executing the event this year?

Correct, ME!


Now if you think it is no big deal, suit yourself the 'x' button is up there, whereas for me this was a big deal because executing an event is no easy job, like you see those event planners on movies running left and right to get it all done right.. I love the rush!
So the idea behind this is: since we are international students in the Netherlands, and there are all those stereotypes coming and going around; this event has been created to eliminate these stereotypes, and bring us together. Moreover, it is difficult sometimes for Dutch to interact with internationals, because they will have to speak English, so this is like a cute way of get together, psst we don't bite kinda thing.

This experience also is something like, traveling to a country by visiting the person. A few hours that would make your perspective change about certain culture, perhaps answer your questions. People volunteer to be hosts, and invite others to their house, in which those guests should adapt to the hosts' do's and don'ts.

For example, when people come over to my place, during dinner we would sit on floor and eat with hands. As much as it sounds scary, it is fun to try!

Here is the video of the kick-off :

And here are some pictures from different guests who came over.

Believe it or not, the demand to visit my place is large since it's super new experience, and I'm all about teaching everyone the Omani culture.




Note: some food might not look typical Omani but hey, what is a little improvement on the food eh? it's like being modern and traditional.
If they can serve shuwa burger, why can't I improvise, right?
PPS, also coz not all materials are available here =P

My trip to: Russia

Yes, I did it.
I went to Russia.


I did not know I had it in me, but when the school said we had to choose between Russia or Iceland, without second thoughts I said Russia.
I had some doubts later on, but I ignored my fears and made it.
The trip officially was supposed to take time between 20th to 24th of April 2015

This is how the journey went:

So many people decided to go a day earlier or so, in order to get a rest after arriving, because it was going to be one busy trip.


19th of April: 
My flight was at 7 pm I think.. and we had a stop in Latvia. We finally reached Russia, St. Petersburg at 1.30 am.
Airport was almost empty, I think we were the last arrivals for that day. So I went to the passport check.. The lady speaks no English word, and the thing is, I have European ID, but for Russia we had different Visa. 
I gave the lady my passport, she stared at me then back to the passport..
In a very rude way she pointed back to where I came from ' GO!!'. I said "this is my European ID" she responds 'GO!!'. mhmm.. okay..
I sat down on the chairs, and I was alone there as everyone else passed the control check.. 
There were bunch of policemen standing there, laughing and talking.. 
The control desks all shut down, half the lights in the place were turned off while I'm sitting there alone waiting.. what next?
I approach a policeman, and ask him "so what do I do now?". He can barely speak English and apparently no one was working on my case anyway since the windows were closed. He was however kind enough to ask me where I came from so I told him Amsterdam, he asked for my residence permit, and I gave him.  
I started panicking.. Almost was going to cry, then I activated international internet and sent a message in our Whatsapp group, I was too shy to call any of the teachers because it was too late. One of them called me right away and calmed me down.. I didn't cry. I also heard Bryan from the other side where I couldn't see anything screaming "where is my friend? why don't you let her out?" and it made me laugh. so sweet!
After sometime the policeman came with my ID and Passport, and said that I could pass now. 
When I passed the control check I realized that I've been waiting in there for over an hour.
The hostel we are supposed to stay in, supposedly should send us a Taxi driver with my name plate on it, apparently he never came to the airport. First, I received an Email from the hostel asking if we're showing up or not, I replied yes but having some issues passing the control check. Then the lady said he left, but she will contact him to come back.
Meanwhile, other taxi drivers in the empty airport are annoying us, we were warned not to take those. it was then 3.30 am, the taxi driver claims to be in the empty airport but we don't see him.. Then he claims hes by the bus stop, and since all the letters are in Russian and there is no sign we didn't know where the bus stop was. Bryan went outside to check for the taxi driver, and now they won't let him inside the airport anymore. So I decided to leave too since there was no point in waiting inside. We called the Hostel, and hes yelling kinda that there is no one to pick us and such.. When suddenly two LARGE men approach us.. one of them grabs the phone (My dear iPhone6) and says two words in Russian.. Then he says "come come i take you". The two men argued who to take us, then one of them said follow me.. He took our bags before we could say anything. So we followed him to a garage... Then he put our bags inside a car which had no sign of TAXI and i looked at Bryan and said " OMG are we really going with him??" but there was no time to argue, and there were no one around us. Bryan tried to take a picture of the plate number but didn't go well as the picture was all blurry. They told us it wook 15 minutes from the airport to the hostel, but this one I'm pretty sure took us more than that. Also, the price later was high. 
Finally we reach the hostel at 4 in the morning all exhausted and tired. Met with the others and felt relief. What a first day!



20th of April:
I woke up feeling weird, and mentally exhausted, yet so happy to reach safely to the hostel after what happened the previous night.
Went to the common room, which also had the kitchen where everyone were having their breakfast.. Well, it was a hostel what did I expect? 
Sorry, not sorry.. I'm not used to being in a hostel. When I've been raised all my life in a certain way, then seeing this will never be okay for me yet I co-oped with the situation. 
We went for a walk around the city, discovering the place. Walking on the Nevsky prospect, it was so beautiful. The weather was cold, which I had no problems with because I love the cold weather. 
Took a couple of pictures here and there.
Later on in the evening, somewhere at 18.00 we met with our two lovely teachers who accompanied us in this trip to go to a typical Russian restaurant. 
Now, I only eat halal meat, so it was not very convenient because in countries like Russia -unlike Holland for example- finding halal meat is not easy. However, the fish dish that I've order was a mind blowing delicious dish!! The restaurant itself was so welcoming with this typical Russian style, I loved it!
I'm sorry I don't remember the name, but it was so close to the hostel, and on the Novsky prospect as well.

That is all I remember about that night.



21st of April:

At 10 we met at the common room in the hostel, then we walked to the metro station, and took a metro in order to start our first company visit. 
All this time I was thinking, God.. If I had to travel around here alone I'd cry, because I don't know the language, and I don't somehow feel safe. So I was happy to travel with my friends.
then later on at 12 I think we had a lunch in a Japanese restaurant which was next to the hostel. I didn't really like their food as much as the Russian cuisine.
Later, we had a walking tour with a woman from 'WOW Russia'. They offer really nice tours, check their website. No this is not marketing, but I liked their ideas honestly.
So we walked around, visited all those amazing monuments..
I love their architecture... It is indeed rich with history. The lady did explain some of the stories that took place in certain monuments, but I was interested more to know about the Tsars, and all the historical events.

 The church of our Lady Kazan

 Metro station

 in front of Lady kazan church

The church of the Savior on Blood

Acting Russian? :P

At night.. I went with some friends to the same restaurant we went the previous day, the one I don't know what is called, but had typical Russian atmosphere and food.

22nd of April:

Waking up early, is exhausting. I managed to be on time. Some people were late, this time we didn't wait. Walked with the group to the metro\underground station. 
I was thinking in myself 'I'm happy I managed to be in time, I wouldn't know how to reach our destination otherwise, especially using an underground!!'
When we reached the place, we saw the others.. I was impressed how they reached there the same time we did though they were late (the late ones were 3 guys.. no wonder they knew how to reach :P )
We finished our company visit, then went to another typical Russian restaurant. Again, no Halal meat, but man those seafood variety and vegetarian dishes they offered were so delicious. This time it was a buffet. 
After that we went to Baskin Robbins and you have no idea how happy I was that there was a Baskin Robbins (Because in Holland, or europe generally there is no Baskin).

Yes, even with the scary letters, I was happy!!

There was a problem however, when ordering the ice cream because they don't speak English, and everything is written in Dutch!! Thank you google trans!
After that we went back to the underground, went to somewhere else for our company visit. 
After the company visit, the group split, there were me and other 3 who decided to go to the mall!
Now, when you tell me MALL i get all excited because again in Europe you don't have what we know as Mall, in let's say Oman\Emirates .. I was so excited.

After that we were so exhausted. We went back to the hostel only to find out that people went to different places, so we decided we'd shower then go for dinner and call it a night.
We went to the same restaurant that I went to, twice in a row.
We were extremely exhausted, and because of that we were laughing on everything and anything. At the restaurant we were 6 in total, laughing the whole time.
We finished dinner at midnight, before heading back to the hostel, we decided to go to a shop which was on the opposite street from the restaurant, and from the hostel. While walking and laughing.. I saw an old begger (lady) approach us.. Normally, I'm scared of beggars, imagine a beggar in Russia.. 
The other didn't hear me, and i laughed at something someone said.. A friend of mine who was face to face with the beggar, got spooked because apparently the lady was too short she almost didn't see her, so she stopped, then ignored and continued walking.. 
That's when we heard the old lady scream on the top of her lungs, and actually she started running after us, and we screamed and ran too!!
The funny thing is that no one in the street bothered to see what is happening, everyone were minding their own business. The traffic light had red light on, we didn't care we just kept running to the other side of the road, into the shop. We literally were catching our breath, scared to death from that random action. Bought what we wanted but dared not to go out because I think I saw an old lady peeping from the shop window, wasn't sure if it was her, but I was not going to leave the shop if she was waiting outside. Then the guys went out, said she wasn't there, so we left and quickly went back to the hostel.
I had a goodnight sleep, the others claimed they were hearing a scream all night long from the outside.
Now, that would not be the same old woman would it? How can she have the power to shout all night long? Mhmmm..


23rd of April

We met again somewhere at 10 or 11, I don't remember. Then the journey started where we had to walk to the Hermitage. 
Before going to the Hermitage, we stopped in another typical Russian restaurant, where they had the most delicious pies I've ever eaten. Now again, I only ate vegetarian and fish, but believe me when I tell you this was no ordinary pie!! They were just so amazing that now when I think about them, I drool!

Then we walked to the Hermitage. My goodness, the Hermitage was so beautiful.
our tour guide then told us the different stories about each room, kings, princes and all.. it was simply magnificent 

After the Hermitage visit, we quickly went back to the hostel to get ready.
We went to a Fancy Russian restaurant (I'm sorry I'm bad with remembering the names!) where again they served us some mouth watering super delicious food.

Then we went to the Mariinsky theater, where we attended a ballet show.

Finally, since it was our last official day in St. Petersburg, we decided to go on a limo tour around the city, celebrating the end of the trip. We went to the monuments that we have already been to, but at night it was a different story...

It was even prettier than what we had seen in the day light.

of course, these are some of the pictures, not all! Just so you can put an image to the story you're reading.



24th of April:

It was the departure day, I was supposed to go to Scotland to visit my friend and spend 3 more days doing nothing. However, an emergency appeared out of nowhere where I had to go back to Holland. So, I traveled back with some of my friends who were going back too.
So, my fear started once again when we stepped into the airport. We went to the control check, and some friends went ahead and one stayed in case something -again- happened to me. 
Once more, I had to wait for 15 minutes this time thank god, and the woman behind the desk could sense my fear so she tried speaking English with me, another officer came asked me some questions then they let me in. Whoa.. 

That minions, was my journey to Russia.
Unforgettable, lovely, and amazing experience.
But never again!



 

Disorders do not mean CRAZY!

Minions,

Been a long time since I last posted, I know.
It has come to my attention lately, actually since sometime now, the fact that people generally in Oman are not properly aware about the different (mental) disorders. To them it's either 'crazy' or 'fine'.

Before coming to the Netherlands I had no idea about Dyslexia.
Maybe you did not know about it either? Here's an insight about it:

"Dyslexia is a learning disorder characterized by difficulty reading due to problems identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words. Also called specific reading disability, dyslexia is a common learning disability in children.
Dyslexia occurs in children with normal vision and intelligence. Sometimes dyslexia goes undiagnosed for years and isn't recognized until adulthood.
There's no cure for dyslexia. It's a lifelong condition caused by inherited traits that affect how your brain works. However, most children with dyslexia can succeed in school with tutoring or a specialized education program. Emotional support also plays an important role."1

 People also are not aware of schizophrenia 

"Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that generally appears in late adolescence or early adulthood - however, it can emerge at any time in life. It is one of many brain diseases that may include delusions, loss of personality (flat affect), confusion, agitation, social withdrawal, psychosis, and bizarre behavior."2

People might recognize 'Bipolar' but still don't really understand what it is:

"Bipolar disorder, also known by its older name "manic depression," is a mental disorder that is characterized by serious mood swings. A person with bipolar disorder experiences alternating “highs” (what clinicians call “mania“) and “lows” (also known as depression). Both the manic and depressive periods can be brief, from just a few hours to a few days, or longer, lasting up to several weeks or even months. The periods of mania and depression vary from person to person — many people may only experience very brief periods of these intense moods, and may not even be aware that they have bipolar disorder.A manic episode is characterized by extreme happiness, extreme irritability, hyperactivity, little need for sleep and/or racing thoughts, which may lead to rapid speech. A depressive episode is characterized by extreme sadness, a lack of energy or interest in things, an inability to enjoy normally pleasurable activities and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. On average, someone with bipolar disorder may have up to three years of normal mood between episodes of mania or depression."3

There is also Epilepsy:

"Epilepsy is a group of related disorders characterized by a tendency for recurrent seizures. There are different types of epilepsy and seizures. Epilepsy drugs are prescribed to control seizures, and rarely surgery is necessary if medications are ineffective."4

Funny story here, so once I went to a trip with the school (public school) and one of my classmates pointed at a girl, and said 'When this girl rides one of those rides that are fast and go upside down her demons come out' She meant to tell me that the girl is possessed by the devil. Little that she knew that girl suffered from epilepsy. 

So there are so many other disorders, which we don't know about normally. However, in other countries, people seek help somehow, or when they're diagnosed it's okay, people understand that they need help, but from where I come from people jump to one conclusion : S\HE IS CRAZY and that is sad. Moreover, the judges and whispers start.

I mean to say, we're human beings. A human is not perfect, such unfortunate things can happen to anyone, anytime.. Instead of laughing at it, or at the people we should be more understanding. 

We should be helpful to them instead of calling names. 

Encourage seeking help instead of letting them suppress their feelings and suffer alone.

Don't let these people feel alone, misfit, or different. 

I hope the point I'm trying to make is clear, and you minions get what I'm trying to say, perhaps change your view about this matter, and help change the overall view of others about it too, because it is serious.

Let's make the change instead of waiting for others to do something.

In the references below you can find the links to some of the disorders I mentioned, and you can read about others which I haven't mentioned.

Laters!

References:

1. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dyslexia/basics/definition/con-20021904
2. http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/36942.php
3. http://psychcentral.com/disorders/bipolar/
4. http://www.webmd.com/epilepsy/

Counter Strike Global Offensive

Minions,

As most of you might already know.. I'm a Gamer.
A moody gamer if needs to be specified. There are certain games that I'm hooked to, and believe me, I'd play them continuously without getting bored.
I'll leave the details of games I like to play for some other time.. or in another post. Today I'm talking about counter strike global offensive.

Back in .. I don't know somewhere in 2006 or 07 I think, when I was in middle school, our school applied the electronic system.. Which meant we would study using laptops instead of books.
How cool is that right? It was so so so cool!
So in breaks.. ( ugly confession: or not in breaks!) we would play counter strike in the class.. & we had a custom server.. so almost whoever in school played counter strike, played together in the server. 
Ps: I think I was the only girl who actually played it at school!
This was for that phase of time only.. and after that year (or when we left middle school to high school .. which meant back to books) I didn't play it again.

Sometime later I tried CoD (Call of Duty) on playstation.. Much as I liked it.. it was a bit hard for me to play it to be honest. 

& now again, a friend told me about CSGO, which in the beginning I was like 'Ugh old school, I don't think I'll enjoy it the way I enjoyed it in middle school!' 
Truth be told I was scared I'd go all nostalgic over those days.. Because those days somehow everything was easy and fun.. it was just different.
So I played one game on my friend's PC.. and that was it. Next thing was me buying the game.. installing it on my laptop.. GOODBYE WORLD!

I turned into a zombie.
I can't stop playing it.
I LOVE IT!!
Never been better at the game hahah.
I'm not marketing for it.. I'm just expressin' my LOVE to the game.
I've been winning on competitive games.. and they're giving me cool down time ugh,,


wana join me?
Stream Name : PastaMuchacha
Lets go!


Back to the game now.. 
Until the next post
x