Group work ??

  

       So yeah, part of studying what I'm studying is having to work in groups constantly. Believe me, it's not as easy as it may seem. Interacting with people from different countries, different cultures, different personalities isn't really so easy, unless you are patient and not bad tempered like myself. However, this year I'm keeping my cool up. I'm not losing my temper anymore, I'll use the threatening method. No, I'm not being horrible, I just don't want to ache my head anymore, right?
    
   I've worked with different types of people, and have had a tough time, I wonder how did I keep myself from going all mad and yelling at them, I think it's called being mature right? I'd rather call it the observation period, secondly, I don't want to make enemies because apparently if you tell someone to work harder or any kind of that advice they would say you're no longer their friend and start whining about it, also talk bad behind your back.

    If you want people to work with you and co-operate well, you've gotta be a good leader, some people mistake being a dictator for being a leader, guess what homie, you're wrong. It will only make people avoid you, and feel depressed or show you all signs of disturbance and believe me you don't want to feel unwanted. If you know you're going to spend 4 years with the same people, you have to make it at least a peaceful phase for yourself and them because apparently you'll have to work with them in these 4 years anyway, no running away from that. By being a good leader I do mean being strict but not a dictator!! Set some rules, explain it to everyone and make sure you ask for others opinions on why they think you decided to set such rule, and give them examples about how you want the work done and what do you expect. Explain the punishments too. Moreover, don't do the mistake of giving them a paper with  list of rules without sitting and discussing it. 
   You might come across people who would remain silent the whole time and\or agree with everything, these shouldn't be dangerous but make sure you talk to them individually later on perhaps get to know what's in their mind.
   Being a leader doesn't really mean you get to boss around, you have to realize part of being a leader means you have big responsibility to look after your team and correct everything eventually
   "A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves."
Make sure you remember that quote, because a leader is definitely not a dictator. Now you want your team to love you and work well with you, why not sit in a group and do the work altogether, a good atmosphere helps getting better results, whereas demanding the whole time and stressing out won't help you at all. Yes, I've worked with those tensed over nothing.

   So what if you're not the leader? You don't have to always be the leader, give chance to others as well right? if their method haven't worked then maybe you could step up. Give others chance always, they might impress you when you ask them to be the leader for once. It's okay to relax every now and then and give others chance. You could always state your opinion anyway during your meeting times if you disagreed with something. After all it's all a group work right? you're not alone in this, and you can't let your group work alone either. Makes sense?

   Now I had to work with someone, and it was one bad experience that I truly regret not taking an action about it. Gotta admit I was going through a really tough time, but it's a lesson I'm never forgetting, ever! I had to work with someone who did nothing when it came to delivering the task, and wouldn't let me state my opinions because '' I joined late '' . It was partially my mistake because I was kind enough not to inform the teacher, as a result to that, the person went to the teacher before the presentation day and said some rubbish about me, so many untrue things like i didn't work on the assignment, and because I was in Oman for 4 days before the deadline for presentation the teacher bought the person's words and guess who was the mistaken one... ME! I don't care about what has been said behind my back and the poor performance or what others thought of me, all I know is what goes around comes back around - enough said - and this is the first and last time this happens to me, I haven't really relieved my mean side because it's not so pretty, it's pure evil and I don't want it to ever show anyway. 

   The moral of that story is, have a cooperate agreement people, and stick to it. Whoever goes against it should get the punishment they deserve. 
Some people again mistake work relationship to personal, so you might as well come across those who would go like, but we're friends. Don't let these words abuse you, because a true friend won't use you in such way where your case is lost, it's either work well or don't work. There is a different when you're working and how serious you have to be because this results in your future, and when someone's just being childish or selfish.

   People, do not mistake friendship when it comes to work, respect the fact that work is work, there are consequences resulting in bad work (or good) . You don't hold your own fate here, but other peoples' too !


   So yeah, there are few tricks to go on in a team, set the rules and you're good to go. Oh, and don't you go bad mouthing about others because it would only show how cheap you are, just saying! Children complain others, straighten up and be responsible, know what actions you should take, but wisely!


     Here were my 2 cents, who sent you sent for me? oh wait, I suddenly sang EMINEM's song :p so yeah.. cheers!

Aren't you my friend?!

x  : "can you lend me some money please"
y : "Sure, here you go"
after days.. weeks.. months? 
y : " hey remember you borrowed money from me, when are you going to give it back?"
x : " aren't we friends?? These things shouldn't come in between, why being so stingy?  etc etc etc.."

This is the scenario that annoys me the most. 

    We've reached to a level, where if someone asks you to lend him something, and after a while you ask for the thing back, they go all like, we're friends and you shouldn't really make a big deal about this, I haven't expected this from you.
But... wasn't it mine in the first place?

   Some people don't really feel ashamed to ask you for things, even if their relation is not so strong with you. If you refuse they would talk around about how stingy you are that you don't want to lend something to them. They would also say that would return it to you later on, but when the time comes and you remind them that they have to give back what's yours, they would make you feel guilty somehow even though you haven really done anything wrong, they would go like 'so you're making a big deal out of this now? is this how much you need it? can't you get another one for yourself' DUDE, it's mine OK! How dare them talk in such way, I mean...  don't you really feel ashamed of such actions?! Firstly asking for something that's not your, and then when the time comes to give back you make it sound like it's no big deal that a person shouldn't ask for his own things back.. Think about it, where is your dignity?
   
    Using friendship in such cases is considered as abusing to be honest, a true friend won't use the 'friendship' as an excuse to borrow things.

  There are some people, who if you told them 'No' would immediately disappear from your life, like they never existed.. but aren't we friends?! Apparently, if you don't lend them things then you're not a friend, this is the sad story that we're living nowadays!

   I was never the type who would say 'no' to ''friends'' because I valued the friendship, and I wouldn't -later- ask them to return what's mine because I was too shy to do so. Had to learn it the hard way... Some people do take advantage of others and feel no shame about it, so why should I feel ashamed too right?
   If your friendship means borrowing my things and never giving it back then to hell with this kind of friendship, I don't need you, apparently you're in need with my objects. I work hard to get things, in the end you take it and blame me later for making it a big deal? That's an ultimate nonsense.
   There are people who use sweet talk to do such things, it only makes me laugh at them whenever they start their ways, at the same time I pity them.


   Now of course everyone might go into some sort of trouble and would need any kind of 'help' from their friends, but there's a limit and there's some sort of respect that maybe if I couldn't help you today, you would still talk to me and appreciate me as a friend, after all everyone have their own excuse. There also is the kind of understanding that you return the thing when you're able to, don't pretend like nothing happened.  Don't be a heavy load on someone's shoulder!! 

  If you get rid of such people from your life, you'd be happier. Maybe you should say 'no' after all.. To those who abuse the meaning of friendship.


  I loath such people and such actions.


But I love you my readers,

   xo