She is settled under her crown like a siren, ready to lure the next victim.
Empty melody is played in the air... it is so dark in here.
While you gasp for air..
She is relaxed... Got nothing to worry about. Like she knows, there is no tomorrow.
She could be a child, very possessive of all that she owns, "That's mine", she says and no one can do anything about it. No one can protest... No one is able to convince her otherwise. "I always get what I want."
They say she uses telekinesis.. make you obey without saying a word.
She makes you think you are doing all that you are doing by your own will.. When you are just another one of her puppets.
In her presence, you feel the cold wind knocking on your bones, yet you feel her warmth.
What are you supposed to really feel? There is nothing but confusion that
surrounds you... You insist to stay.
"Come into my world..." She whispers.
Something feels so wrong, but feels so right too.. You can not decide...
One step forward, and two steps back...
This is your chance to run.. But curiosity is eating you all up inside..
"What is it about her, that leaves them distort?", you think to yourself. Now you are thinking that you could solve this puzzle, because you think you are different.
"There is nothing to win here, only everything to lose" she warns, "A permanent scar however, is guaranteed. You won't find anything else".
You are aching for that scar, suddenly.
"I can prove otherwise." you tell yourself.
Gaze into her eyes, see nothing but pure darkness. She is calm.
How can she be so calm, when there is a clear disturbance in the atmosphere, a silence that speaks a million unheard words..
She smiles with confidence.
"I have warned you", she says deliberately.
They warned you too.
"Are you joining?", she says with an intimidating smile. "We'll have so much fun."
There is something about her that you can not figure out. Something is pulling you in, a heavy force that you can no longer fight.. You stop resisting.. You do give in.
She pushes you away now. She is cruel. She needs no one, she just likes to play.
But what are you supposed to do? You are now trapped in her playroom. You can not leave, there is nowhere for you now to go.
Forget all that you once knew, there is no escape. There is no other realm now. This is all that you come to know.
You are trapped.
You gaze into her eyes again, searching for a glimpse of hope..
You've been sleepless for a while.. Trying to explore that wicked mind of hers, how does it function..
You finally figure it all out.
The joy you feel.
A sign of triumph after what has felt like forever.
Just to figure out she has changed her game again, you are back to square one.
"But how can it be? It's been a while now.. I got you all figured out. I know your ways, and i know your game..", you object.
She smirks and says "I told you we will have so much fun!".
What type of fun is this?
What is she thinking?
Am I ever leaving this maze?
"No, you are trapped." you hear a voice. "Just like them.."
You are one of her possessions now..
You are not leaving, ever.
She says "I always get what I want.."
There is that wicked grin again..
You can not hate her, even after all that she's done.
There is something about her..
You can not figure out..
You're a prisoner.. A happy prisoner..
Now you are having fun too.. Nothing makes sense.. But you're happy.
You do not want to leave this maze..
You are forever trapped..
Funny enough that I felt like I MUST write about this phenomenon.
We have come to an era, where everything is available and within few clicks away from your reach. Literally!
With all the controversial topics that we are "giving & receiving" from Social Media, people lost their ways, they got stripped off their roots.
Adding to that, remember the time where you could sit with your family and watch a movie, only to feel awkward when there is a kissing scene.
Could you watch any movie now, before reading the whole description and make sure there are no naked scenes in it, so you could peacefully watch with your family? Now, this point specifically was off-topic, yet I thought I have to mention it, because it is annoying me.
My problem is not with the social media, TV-shows or the books that are available out there. I mean, go ahead watch what you like, read what you like, share and talk about anything you want but please, do not forget how in real world it works differently.
Some might think that I'm being negative here, but not really. The post might be long but you're here to read it until the end, right?
It saddens me, when I see people I know, or hear about incidents where people fought, killed, argued or divorced because a tiny misunderstanding regarding a TV-show.
We all binge-watch TV-shows, and sometimes get hooked to the TV-show a little too much. I'm not against that either, I myself am a hardcore Game Of Thrones fan and I LOVE the show A LOT. However, I do not let them effect my daily life routine, know what I mean?
I know some people who after watching a show, or an episode, start applying all the incidents to their real life.
Why on earth would you do that? Do you have no idea how these are all fictional written stories? Okay, some incidents might be taken from daily life, or could be applied but not the whole thing. Know what I mean?
Even if the characteristics of you favourite character are similar to yours, it does not imply the fact that you MUST act the same way further, in the upcoming events of your life. Those are written scripts, what you will do or have to do is up to you and your own actions, and the surrounding will not react the same way they reaction was done in the show.
It is the same with reading books. Some solutions could be found in those self-help books, or any other type of book, but the circumstances differ from a situation to another.
Moving on to the next point, those who strongly believe in horoscopes. Now, I know and you should too; that it is a type of science. It is true, and I'm not denying that there are some things that are 100% accurate, but not all of them, right? I mean, your sign could be 'X' and it says that the characteristics of this person are 'clumsy, hot tempered, smart, strong, unemotional', and you might know a person who falls under the sign 'X' but is not clumsy, or hot tempered, s\he could be strong and smart though. You do not have to change yourself to match what is written, that is the point I'm trying to make.
Do not base your life events on things that were written by other human beings. You make your own events by choosing your actions, do not let anyone control the way you think, or the way you behave.
It does not mean that you are a weird person if your sign says something while you are something else, I mean there are billion other people who fall under the same sun sign and I bet they are not all the same.
What I was told, and well I tell others too, if you think it is a good thing take it, if you think this is not you then to hell with it. You define yourself, and not what someone wrote or told you. You dig?
Here, another thing I've let go of my chest, and for you to know what I think regarding this matter.
If we all behave the same way based on what we see or read, it will all become boring and we will all be the same, where is the creativity in that??
Also, why social media plays the biggest part in delivering such messages to us is because now even if you're in a country you still get reviews and thoughts from across the globe, and it has a huge influence on shaping the way you think. Social media can make a right wrong and wrong right just easily, and you would not feel it hitting, you'll just say 'oh yeah if it is this way then it is correct' you know, brain playing games on you telling you it is right just because everyone else is doing it.
I know I have this way of talking about so many things under one topic, but hey, creativity right!
one last thing: when I was writing i thought man this post will be long, but see, I gave you the shortcut version. I hope my message is clear. Sometimes in my head it is clear but then i remember ya'll can't really read what is in my mind.
x
They say, everything you do is an experience.
They also say, every experience is a lesson...
I've heard that people do not really change.. circumstances do.. but is it true?
He told me, if someone tells you 'I'm changed, and it is all because\for you' show them the door, and say 'goodbye, with your bullshit'
So.. Where does that leave anyone?
I could definitely say that I'm not the same person I was last year.
There is just so much in my mind, that I would like to share with the rest of the world, like anyone else... Yet I choose to be that mysterious person whom you think you figured out, but by the time you think you did, I've changed my thoughts, feelings and mind already so you have to start all over again.
For sometime now, I have been what you call 'feelingless', and I was actually happy about it. However, a friend told me that I'm in denial. I thought about it.. Maybe I'm in denial but maybe I liked whatever I felt -or didn't feel- and I just wanted to continue that way.
For too long now, I've been concerned about:
- What people think about me.
- Everyone's expectations of me.
- Future
&
- More Future
I stopped living the moment, always just wishing for a better tomorrow that I forgot to enjoy the now. It's like, I finally opened my eyes, and realized I have to start living the now and forget about the future. What is meant to happen, will eventually happen, right?
I also realized that I might have been a little too generous towards others, and been giving more than receiving. Maybe this is the time to be selfish and think about myself only. I deserve some selfish time.
The thing about me is, I never truly reveal my full feelings and thoughts to one person specifically, I just share some facts with those who are close to me. Then I tell them half the story, whatever it is, tell the other half to someone else. They can not take the pieces and complete the puzzle, they think I'm confusing, and it is complicated while I like it.. I actually enjoy it very much.
I'm an introvert, this is the whole truth, yet people love to believe otherwise. True, I'm easy to talk to, and once you talk to me I'm all warm and make you feel special, but it does not mean you make me feel special too, you know? It is difficult to satisfy me and I'm aware of that, but why should I change that? I'm happy with all that I am, and all that I've done so far and satisfied overall. So I do not see any problem in that.
There is one more fact about me that I think everyone should feel aware of; I'm narcissistic.
A friend said this word to me a few days ago and I was clueless about what it meant, I was too shy to ask as well, but then I searched it and I was like 'WOW, there is a word for self obsession'.
I'm proud to be one actually, this feeling I can not describe. I'm just so awesome that I might belong in a museum [yes, a LoL reference. Ez.].
I'm so much in love with myself.
Here is the thing, I know my flaws right, because no one is perfect. However, I love them... I think they're quite cool characteristics. I do not want to change them either!
Here, I thought I'll just scribble the few thoughts that are wandering in my big brain which is full of so many words. I did not pick them carefully therefore I will not read this draft twice, I'll post it the way it is.
The very last thing I would like you all to read -if you're still reading, which I'm sure you are!- I'm loyal to those I love and truly care about. Whereas others think I'm harsh, cold or rude, I would not change that thought of yours, I mean if you have made up your mind then so be it, maybe you deserve whatever gave you this feeling. The more people assume the worse about me, the happier it makes me. Somehow being called evil is fun for me. I mean, look at Loki, and Joker... Aren't they just so cool?
Anyhoo.. If you also want to see who I was a while back visit my old BLOG
ps. I'm still cute and stuff. I love laughing so much I kid you not. Most of time I'm sarcastic and almost never serious, just so you know.
one more PS: I could not think of a better title. Wanted some dramatic effect. ok bye.
Enjoy, and I'll be back to some more posts later on!
x
